Hole In The Heart
by anonymous2521
Summary: In which the Dreyars are in a trying time. Dealing with death, especially the one of someone you love and hold most dearly, is one of the most stressful experiences one can go through. And as Laxus begins to find out, not everyone reacts and copes with death the same way he does.


Laxus Dreyar was nothing but an emotional wreck, the man had just lost his son 3 weeks prior. It had been a devastating disaster, one he wished so dearly that he could have prevented. To witness his child's life ripped away before his very eyes, and not being able to do anything made him felt a number of things, feelings that weren't foreign but all too familiar with him; heartbreak, regret, vengeance, all to an amplified level.

He wanted so badly to hunt down the culprits responsible for his son's death and rip the living flesh out of them. Death would have been too kind an escape for them and he sure as hell wasn't going to let them get away with it that easily.

Ironically enough, the dragon slayer has since found himself taking residency in his study room, where he made it his own personal place of solitude, away from the guild members, away from the thunder god tribe and away from gramps. Hairy stubbles had formed on his sharp features; his eyes were blood shot red, having gone without sleep for days. The blonde man had a slightly wrinkled beer can in hand, his eyes wandered, looking aimlessly into thin air. The sight of the mighty Laxus Dreyar as he was now,

It was pathetic.

The blonde took a sip from his can, only to find the bitter taste of the alcohol absent. Growling then, he dropped the empty can which rolled over to the other countless numbers of empty alcoholic cans and bottles littered all over the study room. He swiped his hand over his dishevelled hair and slumped back groggily. He let his mind wander again, back to where it all took place. Such was a vicious cycle that occurred every single day.

" _I...love you...Dad.."_

" _NO! Just hang on please! Where the hell is the old hag?!"_

 _His son was in his arms, with a spear wound to his abdomen. Blood streamed from his wound and was forming into a tiny pool of red on the uneven soil whereby the dragon slayer cradled his son. Screams were coming from every direction from the other guild members, though they soon became inaudible as the lighting dragon slayer filtered out everything that was happening at the moment, paying attention to nothing but his boy, a broken expression was upon his face. The look on his son's face was one of pain and affliction. Yet the afflicted one forced a smile to form upon his tethered face as he stared weakly back at his parent._

Laxus clutched his head as his face scrounged up into a painful frown at those memories. His head was starting to hurt, his little boy's painful heart aching smile forever imprinted into his mind. The man brought his hand to his face as he clenched his jaws. His other hand travelled to where his heart was and grabbed at the fabric that he had on, wrinkling them as he clutched tightly. He opened his eyes and sighed, slumping his head back against the head rest once more.

Just then, the man heard muffled voices coming from outside the study room. Laxus glanced to the tiny gap under the wooden door, spotting a couple of shadows shuffling about. The wrinkles on his forehead began to form as he heard the key click into the door knob.

" _Don't come in."_ He groaned under his breath.

Of course the door to the study room opened moments later, and in came along 3 females.

"God Laxus, this place reeks!" It was Cana who spoke, the man's wife and sister-in-law beside her. If even the heaviest drinker in Fairy Tail was criticizing at the fact that it was way too foul for her liking, then it really was something. She held a finger up to her nose as she went over to the windows and drew the curtains aside. The dragon slayer took to shielding his eyes with his hands, looking away when the sunlight pierced through the windows and temporary blinded his sight. "Ever heard of ventilation?" she added in as she unlocked the hinges and pushed open the windows.

"What the hell are you doing?!" He shot her a glare. "Close my damn windows & curtains!"

"No." The brunette merely replied with a grin and stuck her tongue out, not at all intimidated by his glares. Laxus was not amused and felt the feeling of vex rising in his chest. Did he mention that his place of solitude was not entirely flawless in the sense that other than his wife, those 2 were constantly by his home? It wasn't that they were bothering him directly, but more so in the fact that they always brought along cachinnating with them. Why would they think it be alright to do so after everything that happened?

"Man big brother Laxus, what a stinking mess." Lisanna, the younger of the 2 Strauss female siblings present in the room spoke next as she scanned the interior of her brother-in-law's study. It was her first time in 3 weeks entering the room again, and even though she knew it would be in a mess, it surpassed her expectations in that it was much hectic and chaotic as she thought it could be.

"No shit, Sherlock." The lightning mage retorted back as she went on and took her place beside Cana. "Now would you guys just piss off?"

"Someone's grumpy." And then it was his wife who spoke this time.

Sweet, loving, Mirajane.

Laxus's eyes travelled to meet her gaze as the woman took a step forward nearer to him, greeting him with a smile. Laxus merely griped in return and turned away from her. The blonde watched as his wife appeared once more in his line of vision and stopped directly in front of him, that never faltering smile ever present on her beautiful face.

That smile.

It was unnerving for mainly one reason, and that being at how the woman in front of him was taking the death of her son really well.

Really, really well.

"What do you want Mira?" He grumbled when she bent down so that her face was levelled with his and rested both her palms on either side of the arm rest, just smiling.

"Well.." She started. "I'm heading out to get lunch, and I was wondering if you would you like to go-"

"No."

His curt response was only returned with giggling from the white hair beauty. Mira proceeded to find a seat between his legs, she snaked her arms around him. "Silly Laxus, you can't stay cropped up in here forever."

"Watch me."

More giggling.

God how vexing it was.

Mira leaned away from him as she surveyed his face; he wasn't looking at her though, just staring past her and dazedly into thin air. She had one hand off from his nape and started to jab him lightly on the nose in an attempt to get his attention. It worked but the lighting mage looked stern, he caught her wrist and willed them away from his face. "Stop that."

She ignored his warning, giving him a couple more jabs to his nose before leaning back into him. She took a whiff at the man and for a second, the takeover mage's smile disappeared. The man smelled and the odour was repulsive. Still, she made no attempt to leave just yet and only embraced him as the 2 other females took to making small talks with each other.

"You're really in need of a shower Lax."

"I don't need a shower."

"But you stink."

"Like I give a rat's ass."

"Well, can you at least wash your face?"

"Mira, would you just leave me alone? No I don't need a shower, I don't want to go out and have lunch, I just want to stay here and drink my beer. So will you just get out of here and bring those 2 bozos along with you?"

Mira puffed out her cheeks and pouted playfully. She turned to face her younger sister and Cana, who were shooting off daggers at him, not too pleased with how the man addressed them. She turned back to face her husband once more for a moment before clasping her hands to the dragon slayer's thighs; she pushed up and headed towards the door following after the 2 females.

"Call me if you need anything, alright?"

She didn't wait for his answer though and only observed him for a moment before she left and shut the door lightly.

* * *

"You should really freshen yourself up Laxus."

Freed watched as Laxus only reached for the plastic bag in the former's hand and snatched up a fresh can of beer from it. Freed stood there, paying careful attention to his friend. He looked far worse off than when he came by days ago to restock on his beer. His hair was in a mess; his attire filthy with beer stains, his finger nails were black with dirt. Laxus just look so, not Laxus in that moment, he reeked of depression, and watching the great dragon slayer so depressed ache the ever faithful rune mage's heart too.

Freed continued to monitor Laxus as the man wiped the little bit of liquid that canalled down the side of his mouth, all the while thinking about what he could do to take away some of the yoke off his friend's shoulders. He wanted to help, but didn't know what he could do.

The man was glad though, that Laxus had allowed him into his study room. Well, sort of, only when he was to deliver him a new batch of beer to his study room. But that was good enough for him; at least he could keep an eye out for him for the few seconds that he was allowed inside.

Of course, the 'few seconds' were fast and precise, as it was times up moments later.

"What are you still doing here Freed?"

The body guard came out of his thoughts and saw that the man in front of him was fixing him a glower.

"S-Sorry." He apologised, turning to make his way towards the direction of the door. The mage placed his hand by the door knob and opened it, but found himself halting in his steps when he heard sounds of giggling coming from the second floor of the dragon slayer's house. Freed snapped his head back when he heard the lighting dragon slayer groused in frustration.

"They're still here?" His hand was still on the door knob with the door slightly ajar. Laxus chunked down whatever that was left of the can in his hand and chuck it towards the floor before he replied.

"Every damn day." He snatched up another can of beer. "They're a pain in the ass, wished they died."

"Do you want me-"

"Freed. Get out. Now."

"R-Right, forgive me." He took a bow then before turning to leave, but not before stealing one last glance at him.

Oh how he wanted to help.

It was only after he came by the Dreyar's house hold again 4 days later, to deliver a new batch of beer, that he finally found his opportunity. The ever faithful right hand man of the great Laxus Dreyar was just about done with his visit and was taking his leave by the front door when he spotted the 2 "Pain in the ass" who had been frequenting the house for the past few weeks.

Lisanna and Cana stopped in their tracks when they noticed the rune mage shut the front door, the brunette greeted him rather enthusiastically while the youngest Strauss sibling simply smiled and winked at him. He return the sentiment with a nod.

"So you're checking up on Laxus again huh?" Cana grinned, nudging him with her elbow. "He still as wasted as ever?"

"Yes. Very much so." He replied. It didn't go beyond his notice that the 2 in front of him had their hands occupied with what appear to be groceries.

"What are you guys doing here? Isn't Mirajane by the Guild?"

"Yeah, but Mira told us to swing by and put this in the kitchen." Cana grinned as she lifted her hands to show off the stuff they bought. "We're going to be feasting today!"

Freed frowned, losing a little of his stoic composure. A feast? Just what in the world was the occasion that they would be feasting? Didn't they know that this wasn't the best of time for something like that? What was Mirajane thinking?

"Well." Lisanna's voice brought the male back to the present as she and Cana moved past him and started making their way to the door. "We will see you then."

"W-Wait!" Freed spoke a tad too quickly. The 2 females turned to face him, both wearing a curious expression on their face.

"What's up?" Cana questioned when she saw that Freed was noticeably getting flustered. Lisanna only looked on in concern. The man in turn only took to exhaling loudly, his composure restored. Freed mustered up his determination and began shortly.

"We need to talk."

* * *

The whole conversation he had with the ladies about how they should stop coming over to Laxus's house, ended up with both of them leaving in a state of anger and him having his shoulder blades bumped rather roughly. Even Lisanna who was most friendly with him out of the other thunder god tribe members turned back just to yell out a "You suck!" at him.

He sighed.

Well, it was all for the greater good. At least Laxus would get some peace and serenity now amidst this time of grieving and mourning.

But as pure as his intentions were however, Freed found that he had badly mishandled the whole situation with the ladies, as only an hour right after his encounter with them, he heard repeated and aggressive knocks by his front door. He could tell who it was with the voice that accompanied them.

"FREED!"

Laxus.

He sounded pissed.

Extremely pissed.

True enough, Laxus was there when he answered the door. The man's attire was all wrinkled and crumpled; his shirt tucked unevenly. Laxus's had a scowl on his face; his piercing death stare boring into Freed's frightened orbs. The dragon slayer brooded over him, literally huffing and puffing like the Hulk ready to rip into his prey and tear him apart.

The big brood of a man reached out and grabbed his victim by the collar, reeling the fear-stricken mage in so that he was only inches away from his face.

"You." He spat at Freed, who only stood cowering in fear. "Do you have any idea what you've just done?!"

So take it that his little talk with them didn't go well.

"L-Laxus.." Freed began weakly, the colours on his face immediately draining. He raised both his hands up in surrender. "I-I can explain-"

"Shut the hell up!" Laxus barked as he proceeded to drag the poor soul out of his house and onto the stone pebble pathway. "You're going to fix this shit!"

And that's how Freed found himself being bullied towards the path that was leading to the guild, all the while having to listen to Laxus complain about the mess Freed was responsible for. Sure, he knew for a fact that both Cana and Lisanna would bring this up to the barmaid. What he hadn't anticipated, was how he actually made the youngest Strauss sibling cried. She was mad yes, but there weren't any signs that she was going to break down in tears. Not that it matter as it was already done, he made her cry. And a crying Lisanna would definitely affect the mood of Mirajane, which would in turn lead back to good old Laxus.

It felt like an eternity before the duo finally arrived, and when they did, Laxus made sure to cause a scene by barging through the wooden portal of the guild.

Eyes were immediately directed towards the duo, more particularly to Laxus as it was his first time stepping into the guild ever since the incident. He merely ignored the lesser guild members, searching throughout the guild hall for a particular white hair barmaid. When he spotted her, he grunted and stomped towards her direction, Freed in hand.

Mira who had been chatting up with Erza by the bar counter, merely dropped her smile when she noticed them. A frown slowly formed as she took to folding her arms. Laxus simply shoved Freed towards her when they were a few feet away.

"Out with it numb nuts."

Freed jerked slightly when he felt Laxus smacked him on the head. He dared himself to look at the white hair barmaid, who wasn't looking too please with him. He started weakly. "M-Mirajane, Laxus had nothing to do with me talking to Lisanna and Cana, it was all me. If you had anyone to blame, blame me and not him."

"You Freed." Mira simply said, her voice sounding eerie and unlike her usual one. "You are going to apologise to my sister for making her cry. Cana too."

"O-Of course Mirajane. Please forgive me and not hold it against Laxus, he has done no-"

"Leave. Now." She cut him off before he could even finish. The rune mage realised that she was now looking past him and fixing a hard look at Laxus. No doubt was he going to be the next victim to the takeover mage's wrath. Damn it, all he did was made everything worse. When the rune mage left, the barmaid started on her next target.

"You're going to apologise to my sister and friend too Laxus." Mira spoke, her eyes zeroing in on Laxus.

"What?" Laxus growled. "The hell do I need to apologise? Did you not hear Freed?"

"It doesn't matter. She was crying because of what he said to her, which by the way, he 'quoted' were from you."

"Mira-"

"Did you or did you not say that about Lisanna and Cana? About wanting them dead?"

Trust that damn Freed to take everything out of context and ratting him out. He was going to skin him alive when this was all over.

"Look I don't-"

"Did you, or did you not say it?" She repeated, though it came out more of a statement than a question.

Laxus stared at her for a brief moment, before turning to take his leave. He had enough of this. He was never a man of high tolerance. With Mira it was different, he would go the extra mile for her but this was bullshit, and he didn't do bullshit. Laxus would have taken a step towards the exit but he felt an arm restraining him back.

"Don't you dare walk away from me. We're having a conversation."

He was starting to get agitated with her persistency too, Laxus fixed his wife a glare but she simply ignored him. Sure he could intimidate almost anyone with that look, but not her, not Mirajane. She was the only one other than gramps to be able to step on his buttons and get away scot free.

"I'm not doing this shit with you Mira. Let go." He spoke, sweeping her hands off from his arm as he took a step further. The barmaid merely grabbed his arm again and turned him back to her direction.

"You're going to apologise to them Laxus Dreyar. I mean it."

"Is this honestly what it takes for you to suddenly get all serious and give a shit after 3 weeks of fun?"

And just like that, the power in Mirajane's eyes left. She was practically staring at him in shock, caught off guard by his blunt statement. Everyone else simply looked on mortified, some grasp at where he was leading this conversation. Slowly, Mira's hand left his as she continued to stare at him. When she made no attempt to speak, he continued on.

"You know what Mira? I'm glad that you're dealing with our son's death so freaking damn well, that you're all smiles and giggles about it, as if nothing ever happened and your son didn't just have his life taken away from him by those bastards."

"Laxus-"

"The thing is I'm struggling so damn hard every single day and I can't understand for the life of me why the hell your damn friends are still hanging out at our home every single damn day, laughing and making a damn bloody joke out of everything. Don't you even care at all? Are you really that dense, or do you just choose to be ignorant about it?"

"I-"

"I'm tired Mira. I just..." He didn't finish, just stopped himself midsentence as he closed his eyes, rubbing the bridge of his nose in frustration. Slowly he turned away, not offering even a glance to his wife, who only stood there watching him with her lips quavering. Her demeanour was so much different than it was awhile back. She opened her mouth to speak, but didn't find her voice. It didn't matter though, as her husband was already by the door and out moment's later.

Mira placed a hand to her heart, Laxus's words were cutting.

She turned when she felt Erza, who backed away the entire scene came back and placed a hand to her shoulders.

"Are you okay?" Erza asked, though it was more rhetorical.

Mira only shook her head as she felt her tears finally brimming, it fell seconds later.

"He hates me."

* * *

The dragon slayer found himself in a bar, downing on what seems to be his 8th bottle of beer. Wiping the foam from his mouth groggily, he slammed the shot glass down before waving on the bartender for another round.

" _Screw this shit."_

He thought as he brought his hand up to his face. This was all just so messed up; he hadn't meant to say all those things to Mira. But in the heat of the moment, all that bottled up frustration and emotion just came tumbling out. Not that it wasn't justified (to him at least), he was sick of her attitude. Still, she was his wife and what he did was a tad too harsh, even if it was true.

 _Argh._

This was driving him mad.

The bartender came back with his refill awhile later, and as the dragon slayer reached for his beverage he felt his shoulder being pulled back roughly and in the next second felt someone's fist connecting with his face. The nearby patrons only looked on in shock at the sudden outburst.

"What the hell Erza?" He growled at the person, who only looked on with a stern expression.

"Are you really that dense?" Erza asked as she watched him pushed himself back from the bar counter where he stumbled upon from the force of her punch.

"Leave me the hell alone. I'm not in the mood for this." Laxus turned back to the bartender. But no more than a second later found himself being turned once more and getting another punch to his face, this time the dragon slayer crashed into a nearby stool.

Laxus was furious this time, staggering back up clumsily and wiping the little bit of blood that trickled down the side of his mouth. He gave Erza a defiant stare then, moving towards her.

"Just what the hell you think you're doing?!" He spat, throwing a punch at her.

Had it been a sober Laxus coming in on her, she would have been a goner. But this was a semi drunk Laxus who was struggling to stand, let alone defend himself. Needless to say, the blonde found himself pummelling back once more onto the ground, knocking over a nearby bench. When he tried to get up he felt Erza stomp him back down before leaning down to grab him by the collar.

"Get off me!" The blonde growled as he struggled against Erza who had a firm grip on his collar.

"You know, it's bad enough that you weren't even by your son's wake or funeral. And now after all this time locked up in your damn home, you come by the guild and pull out a damn stunt like this? Just what the heck are you playing at?"

"Damn you Scarlett! I'm-"

"When are you going to wake up and realise that Mira needs you?"

Whatever form of struggle Laxus put up with ceased right after, he seem slightly taken aback by the red head's words. It dissipated as quickly as it was birth though and a scoff escaped his lips shortly after.

"She doesn't need me. She's doing just fine."

Her grip on his collar tightens.

"Is that what you really think?"

"It's what I know!"

"Why you?-"

Erza had her other hand balled up into a fist and ready to deliver Laxus another blow, but found it in herself to prevent that from happening. She closed her eyes and heaved out a sigh then. She released her hold on Laxus as the latter slumped back towards the floor.

Laxus prop himself up on his elbow, bringing his hand up to his massage his jaw.

"You know," Erza began, her voice sounding a whole lot calmer than before. "You're not the only one that's grieving over the lost of your son."

She continued when she observed that he wasn't making any attempt to speak.

"We all are. Or have you forgotten that every member of our guild is family? When one of us is in turmoil, the burden isn't just theirs alone to carry. We share the yoke and go through it together. Isn't that what family does?"

Laxus's expression softens up that time. His gaze lost its glare and was just staring intently at the requip knight.

"It's true. That whatever feelings of grief and anguish we have, they could never compare to the ones you're harbouring in your heart. Most of us don't have kids, let alone know the despair of burying them. But, if you think you're the only one with that much of grief then you better think again. Why else do you think Lisanna and Cana have been going over by your place?"

Right then Laxus had a epiphany

He finally understood why those 2 bozos were constantly at his home. How the hell had he missed that? The lighting mage only slumped against the table in silence upon that realisation. Guilt began to slip into his heart as he stared aimlessly into blank space. All this time that he had been wallowing in self pity that he didn't notice that he had neglected his wife.

"Mira needs you." She repeated her words from before. "So how about you stop being the pathetic sorry excuse that you are and start being the husband Mira needs."

Erza left shortly afterwards, her words having left an impact on the dragon slayer. Laxus only gritted his teeth as he slumped back to the floor, gritting his teeth.

"Laxus Dreyar." He muttered under his breath. "You stupid asshole."

* * *

It was close to midnight when Laxus stepped in to the house, it was dark and unvoiced, so silent that he could hear the crickets chirping outside. Closing the door gently behind him, the blonde began to slip out of his jacket. He sluggishly hung his coat onto the coat rack, making no attempt to pick it up when the jacket slipped out of the prongs and onto the wooden floor. Laxus sighed, running a hand through his hair.

Mira was most likely in bed by now.

Laxus shut his eyes as he rubbed his temples, just thinking of Mira made him felt awful at the way he had been treating her the past few weeks since the incident. Erza's words replayed in his mind like a haunting nightmare. He had been so immersed in self pity that he had neglected the one person who meant the most to him and had been there to pick him up during his moment of weakness. He felt so vulnerable for his foolishness.

He was supposed to protect her, to be there for her when she needed it, but here he was drinking away his sorrows.

The dragon slayer staggered against the wall, feeling for the switch in the dark. When he found it, he flicked it up and the living room was bathed in white lights. The dragon slayer found himself stopping in his track, when his eyes brought him to a certain white hair female seated all cuddled up at the couch and staring aimlessly into some square-ish object that appeared to be a photo frame. She hadn't changed out from the attire she wore when he saw her earlier at the guild.

"Laxus." She spoke as she looked at him. She hadn't noticed him until he turned on the lights. Laxus felt his heart broke when he saw her face.

She had been crying.

"Mira." He started. "Why aren't you sleeping yet baby?"

When she didn't answer, he moved to where she sat on the sofa and found a seat beside her, Laxus glanced at the photo frame that was in her hands. His heart twist at the side of his child but willed himself to look at his wife then.

It was only then that he took notice of how dark the area under her eyes was. Laxus silently clenched on his teeth, feeling infuriated with himself. How could he had not notice that she had been missing sleep the past few days? Oh what a terrible husband he was.

"I..." Mira's eyes started to glitter with water then; she ran a finger across the photo frame. "I miss him."

Laxus moved to collect her into his arms. She leaned into his chest as he planted a tender kiss to the crown of her forehead. "I know. Me too."

"So much."

"Mira." Laxus began, his voice glazed with shame. Mira leaned back and tilted her head upwards to meet his gaze. He opened his mouth to speak but found no words coming out. Mira placed an index to his lips.

"I'm sorry, if I ever left the impression that I didn't care about our baby boy's...death." Her voice was beginning to break. "I-It's just-"

"Why the hell are you apologising to me?" He raised his voice a little, though there was no sense of hostility in them. There he was trying to make up to her about his screw up and here she was trying to apologise for just being human?

"If anything, I should be the one apologising to you." He said as he placed his large hands on her face, using the pad of his thumb to wipe her tears aside. "All this time, I was so caught up in my own self pity that I failed to notice your own pain and suffering."

"I-it's okay.."

"No. It's not." He spoke more firmly this time, swiping back his hair. "You're my wife.. and I.. I'm such an ass."

Mira only cupped his face in her hands, reeling him until their lips met in a tender kiss. When they parted, he rested his forehead against her delegate ones.

"I'm sorry.." He started as he move to rubbing circles behind her back. "For not being there when you needed me to.. But I'm here now.. For you."

He gave her hand a light squeeze then.

"I love you Mira."

Even amidst her tears, a smile began to form on her face. This time it wasn't at all off putting as it was before.

"I love you too."

She kissed him again before snuggling deeper into his chest. Mira backed away from him a moment later, with a slight frown plastered on her face. The blonde man only looked at her in curiosity before she spoke.

"You smell like piss."

Laxus chuckle lightly. "Sorry."

He sure did. He moved to get up, but found him being pushed back down by the white hair hottie who had found a seat on his lap.

"Stay.." She demanded through muffled voice as she spoke into his chest.

Laxus smiled then, a true, genuine one since the whole ordeal. It wasn't one that reached his eyes, but nonetheless a genuine one ever since his son's passing.

He didn't knew how long they stayed in that position but it was long enough that he found Mira asleep in his arms. He took a whiffed out of his wife's hair once more, before turning to look out the window, letting his eyes wander throughout the night sky where countless of stars painted them.

Laxus exhaled shallowly then.

He didn't know how long it would take before everything went back to normal; he didn't even think it would ever be the same again. The days ahead were still going to be long and tormenting for at least awhile. But just looking at the white hair beauty currently nestled in his arms, filled him once more with a shimmer of hope. They were going to be okay, it will take awhile but they were definitely going to be okay. Laxus closed his eyes and smiled for the final time that evening.

"We will get through this together Mira." He whispered to her sleeping form, kissing her head. "I promise."

With that, he shut his eyes and for the first time in 3 weeks, finally allow himself to drift off to a much needed sleep.


End file.
